skinny on the inside

I can barely walk.  Forget stairs.  This is a good sign right? Looking forward to some “recovery” tonight.

I’m writing this post the day after the official day 1 of the Insanity program.  Last night I completed the fit test and I was actually surprised at my numbers.  I’d done a lot of research and read a lot of results before jumping in.  I expected to have it totally kick my ass, and it totally did.  I thought I was going to die, life flashing, white light, all that, but I didn’t. Whew.  I plan to post my results here, but right now I’m at work and the results are at home.  My first impressions: They weren’t just saying it, this shit is hard.  I’m already sore, just from the fit test, this IS insane.

More to come, tonight when I get home it’s onto Day 2!

I seem to get to this place every year or so, when my life seems to be going slowly down the drain and everything that I’ve accomplished in the past is temporarily forgotten.   It’s also the time when I realize that everything I’ve done to make and keep myself healthy, has been turned upside down.  So here I am, again. I know I need to make changes and I need to get my life back in order, but right now it feels like that is as impossible as climbing Mt. Everest.

That’s where this comes in. THIS. This blog, tumblr, little slice of internet space.  Whatever you want to call it.  I need some accountability in my life.  I need something to keep my head in the game or at least where I can keep track of when it’s not and why the hell not.  My life is full of enablers.  In the past I’ve had that buddy that had similar goals as I did and we could support each other, encourage and keep each other accountable for our actions.  I don’t really have that now, and in a lot of ways I feel like I need it.  Call it a crutch, but I need it for the moment, I feel like I’m learning to stand on my own two feet again. 

I’ve always thought I could use a healthy dose of therapy in my life, but isn’t that what the internet is for?